better than yesterday

better than yesterday

Today, I’m in North Carolina. I woke up Surrounded by family, Drank coffee with my Mema, Did some more unpacking. I live here now. Today Marks five years since mommah died. The words are harder to come by As time passes. It’s been almost a year Since I left my ex,...
my mother’s daughter

my mother’s daughter

Dear mommah, It’s almost your birthday. You would be 48, But the universe had other plans. September 14th will mark 5 years That you’ve been gone. I can hardly believe it. I have a bottle Of your perfume. Sometimes I mist it on my pillow And give myself a...
oblivion

oblivion

Mommah Never got To see me sober, She saw me In pain, Pretending I was fine. She knew better. I wanted her To feel better about leaving So I faked strength And drank myself Into oblivion. Maybe, to some, My ‘rock bottom’ Doesn’t seem so dark. I have a home, my job, a...
intangible

intangible

I am the anti-theist. By nature, I reject anything illogical. Anything intangible. You cannot trust a feeling. But I feel her with me. In the car that night, Driving away with next-to-nothing I sensed her quiet spirit. In the courtroom, Clutching her necklace Like it...
ambivalent awareness

ambivalent awareness

ambivalent: adjective 1. having mixed feelings about someone or something; being unable to choose between two (usually opposing) courses of action 2. Psychology.of or pertaining to the coexistence within an individual of positive and negative feelings toward the same...
anticipatory grief

anticipatory grief

Anticipatory grief: The normal mourning that occurs when a patient or family is expecting a death. Anticipatory grief has many of the same symptoms as those experienced after a death has occurred. It includes all of the thinking, feeling, cultural, and social...