Syllables

Syllables

I don’t want to belong. I flee from ownership Or definition. I will not be possessed. My mind is a tidal wave, A violent lane-change Full of razor blades And syllables Of words that mean nothing. But when the fog dissipates I am...

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Unforgivable

Unforgivable

I’m paralyzed. Isn’t love Just dopamine? A rush of chemicals. I hate That I loved him. I hate his stupid smug smile And the idea Of giving him what he wants. I hate That he ever touched me. I want to scrub my skin off, Peel myself out Of this damaged shell. Bruised, and scarred, And broken. I feel exposed. I’ve bared my soul for an audience It’s therapy for me. But this man Watched me Watch my mom die. He witnessed the loss Of a piece of myself And still He took advantage. It’s horrendous. Unforgivable. The most terrible excuse For a man. He’s pathetic. I hate him. I hate That I love him. I want to erase him from memory. Wipe his existence From the planet. We’d all be better off. I’m begging him To just let it die. This last piece of control He so...

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Slippery

Slippery

I feel empty. Last night, Mia called my name. I obliged her, Successfully purging myself Ridding myself of food Before I could digest it. It felt wrong And wonderful. This is a slippery slope. I feel lonely. So many demands, Obligations, People who want to see me. So many things Just more and more and more And I’m imploding. There is no more room In my brain. I need to stop this spiral Before it takes hold. I feel strong. I have come such a long way From the sad, beaten-down girl I was Just a month ago. I know I can do this alone Because I have. My friends and family Have loved me beyond comprehension Without thought of themselves. I am eternally grateful. They have supported me. But when it comes down to it I am calling the shots And that is powerful. I feel...

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Flashbacks

Flashbacks

The mark on my left hand Is finally fading. The absence of my ring Will soon go unnoticed- Maybe even to me. The bruises vanish slowly, The marks a constant reminder Of the terrible night That [finally] changed my life. The memories remain. They never leave me, Coming to me in my dreams, Torturing me constantly. Everything brings it to mind, Triggers me, There is no escape. The bruises will be gone, The ring-shaped mark will follow suit. But the flashbacks only strengthen, Reinforced by my panic. Permanent damage has been...

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