Ambivalent Awareness

Ambivalent Awareness

ambivalent: adjective 1. having mixed feelings about someone or something; being unable to choose between two (usually opposing) courses of action 2. Psychology. of or pertaining to the coexistence within an individual of positive and negative feelings toward the same person, object, or action, simultaneously drawing him or her in opposite directions. I woke up the other morning feeling strange. I spent the day cleaning and crying and wondering why. It’s how I operate: feel first, think later. Everything seemed wrong; I was a stranger in my own skin. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks- mom. I haven’t had a bad day like that in a while. I didn’t even cry on my birthday, which was just a few weeks ago. I just didn’t recognize the...

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